you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
