I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I touched a dick in church today
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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