just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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