i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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