____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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