did you get engaged???
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
