I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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