You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Randomize
