I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
