Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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