nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
