you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
