this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
