So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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