Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
