If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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