why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
