I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
