spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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