last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
