Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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