my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
