Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
No subtext here. People are naked.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
