i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
