Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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