census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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