i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
