He told me they were just razor bumps!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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