So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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