We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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