I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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