I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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