he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
