what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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