Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
