I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
