Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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