pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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