but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
