Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I don't deserve a penis
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
