His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
