my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There r osticjed everywhere
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
