Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
