5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
