I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
