Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
