is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
