Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
whose parrot is this?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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