I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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