i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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