All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
