did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
