dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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