I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
