Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
