THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm like, not good at living.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize