i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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