I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
