Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think people are normalizing furries
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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