Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
